a.k.a. The Milk Maid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is October 21st and it’s hard to believe that today was the date originally slated to induce labor!  My oh my, nothing in this odyssey has gone according to plan but I can say that in this moment of this hour of today I’m thankful…extremely thankful for the quiet morning we’re having after a string of, at times, terrifying moments over the weekend.  The episodes in the past few days have set us back potentially a week which isn’t discouraging to me as long as Rudy remains stable.  The hardest part of this past weekend was watching him struggle.  At one point, Olivia and I were in the room with Rudy when he started having trouble.  The team came in to tend to him and I started to get more and more uncomfortable with Olivia in the room so I decided to leave with her and take her back to the hotel room but I was heartbroken leaving Rudy knowing he was struggling so.  I was torn and didn’t know which was the better choice.  I cried on the walk back to the hotel.  Not really aware that Rudy was distressed, Livy patted my hand as we walked and said “the tears just come and go, don’t they?”. 

(I apologize in advance if this is too much information…)  Another odd dynamic to this whole scenario is that my milk has been in a perpetual state of “letting down” since Friday…a constant (and somewhat exhausting) reminder that things aren’t as they “should” be.  I’m getting quite a reputation in the CTICU for my milk production.  Because I don’t have a place to store my milk, we’ve been storing it at the hospital and the various freezers on the floor are getting full.  The classic quote on this subject came from Olivia when she saw me pump for the first time and ran out of the room to tell her brothers that “Mommy’s making milk like a cow!!”.  So, you can add “milk maid” or “Bessie” to the growing list of new names for me.  It’s all okay with me as long as Rudy will one day need it!  He’s off all breastmilk now and will be for a while so in the meantime I’ll keep dispensing and finding creative places to store it!  I don’t know how good the milk is, though, with all the emotional dips and outbursts of the past few days, I’m surprised the milk isn’t coming out curdled!!

Your amazing persistence in praying for Rudy and our family is GREATLY appreciated.  Thank you!!!

Where’s Rudy?

We thought Rudy’s rig was worth documenting as it is quite impressive…Rolf can fill you in on each and every monitor and drip…all I can seem to focus on is the little monkey in the middle of it all.  No new major developments this morning, but we are a bit weary with the waiting.  The doctors do not see any cause for additional concern, but feel that Rudy needs to get stronger in order to make progress on the ventilator.  It seems they’ve made two attempts at progressively scaling back the ventilator this week, but he’s struggled to keep up.  So now they’re taking things at a much, much slower pace.  He is taking nutrition well, so hopefully this will allow him to get stronger and we would appreciate your prayers to this end.  Please pray that he would continue to make steady progress toward breathing on his own so we can get that tube out of his throat.  Yesterday he did seem to get pretty upset at times and that’s tough to watch–a full-on baby tantrum with red face and flailing arms and legs, but not a sound coming out.  I imagine we won’t be that bothered by the crying noise when it comes.

Mike from Saipan!!!

Look who stopped by to see Rudy today!!!!  Mike from Saipan…see our October 9th post entitled “Another Member of the Brian Reemtsen Fan Club” (link below).  Mike is preparing to return to Saipan soon and made a stop to meet Rudy during one of his last visits to UCLA.  What a treat to meet him…such a nice guy and such a small world. 

https://rudysbeat.wordpress.com/2008/10/09/another-member-of-the-brian-reemtsen-fan-club/

 

Happy 2-week Bday! 10-15-08

Wouldn’t ya know, Rudy spent the entire day yesterday sleeping until 11:30pm!!!  Just as we packed up all our bags and started heading out the door for the night, he opened his eyes and was wide awake ready to play!!!  So, we put our bags down and hung out a while longer not wanting to miss a chance to interact with him…we enjoyed the 30 minutes we had to celebrate with him on his 2 week birthday before WE began to nod off.  Ha Ha  Today he is holding steady with no major improvements or setbacks.  The longer he stays on the ventilator, the longer it will take to get him off but the doctors remain hopeful.  We appreciate your continued prayers for progress in this area…yesterday’s echo-cardiogram confirmed that structurally his insides are sound!  Go, Rudy, Go!!!

Two Weeks and Counting…

It’s so hard to believe that Rudy is two weeks old today!  The days have blurred together since we’ve been here and it’s amazing how fast time passes.  At week two, we find ourselves continuing to wait…to wait for Rudy’s kidneys to kick in, to wait for the ventilator to be taken out, to wait for all the numbers to be where they need to be.  They tried taking Rudy off the ventilator yesterday and he lasted about 10 minutes.  It was concerning to us but the doctors said it is pretty normal to make short attempts like that to exercise the lungs and make gradual steps toward getting him off completely.  It’s getting a little hard for me to watch the patients on either side of us come and go and not get discouraged but we keep reminding ourselves that this isn’t a race and Rudy is doing well for his situation.   

Rudy received his first toy this week…a gift from the Child Life Office here at the hospital.  He’s now the proud owner of a musical aquarium that we fastened to his monitor rig.  It bubbles as the little fish sway back and forth to classical tunes.  It’s actually quite soothing and I find myself getting lulled to sleep in the late afternoon right along with Rudy!  Ha Ha  He likes it alot…he was quite alert the day he got it and when we turned it on for the first time he began to kick and move his hands around and his eyes were fixated on it!  It was so fun to see him react to it!!!  So now his view is a little less sterile and a bit more fun. 

Rolf and I are doing well although I’m a bit steamed because he got mistaken for a UCLA student yesterday when we walked down to the Student Union to run a couple of errands and on Sunday I got mistaken for Max’s grandmother!!!!!!  NO FAIR!!!  I know I’m looking a bit haggered these days but come on…not to mention Rolf has alot more gray hair than me!!!!  Anyway, my ego has taken a hit but my postpartum body is bouncing back quickly.  🙂

Please continue to pray for steady progress and for our patience with Rudy’s timeline.  His kidney function is holding steady, but will take time to get where it needs to.  As he’s taking breast milk well through his feeding tube, the next milestone will be to get off the ventilator and have the breathing tube removed.

Another Milestone Surpassed!

Well, it is almost 4pm here on the west coast and I’m wondering where in the world today has gone.  We left Rudy’s room around 11:30am so they could start the “closing up” procedure and Dr. Reemtsen met us in the waiting room about an hour later to let us know he was done.  All remains stable so far…although Rudy is going pee pee, his kidney function right now is still cause for concern but all the really smart people around here seem to think that it is just a matter of time. 

So now we pray against any infection from preventing his healing and we begin to pray for the next hurdle…getting him off the ventilator and breathing on his own.  Once that is accomplished then he needs to start learning how to eat.  He’ll be given my milk through a feeding tube at first, then gradually work his way up to learning how to nurse (we pray!!!) – not an easy process from what I understand.  But that’s work left for another day…today we are just sitting and resting with Rudy and enjoying looking into his eyes every now and again when they open.

My Love Affair with a Foot

Surgery Day 10-6-08
Surgery Day 10-6-08
Ready for transport
Ready for transport

Hi Everyone!  I’ve been itching to get to my computer all day to read everyone’s comments…being connected to you all through the blog feels amazing…we are so NOT alone and the blog really helps to reinforce that…so, again, thank you, thank you, thank you!  Today is not a day I want to repeat but I’m ending the day so very grateful for it’s outcome.  I’m adding a couple of photos from very early this morning just before they took him to surgery…I thought Rudy looked so handsome in his little blue beanie I just couldn’t resist! 

Rudy’s looking a bit different now…a little paler and drawn in the face…they have discreetly covered his open chest with a blanket but it didn’t prevent me from seeing part of it when we first saw him after surgery…a pretty tough sight for me but I was quickly reminded that although it’s no way to start a life, this is giving him a chance at life and a full one at that.

One thing that hasn’t changed is Rudy’s precious left foot.  When he was first born, I was able to hold him for a minute before the took him to the NICU but since then, we’ve only been able to touch certain parts of his body…mostly the top of his head because that’s the one thing that hasn’t have a tube or cord connected to it.  We’ve, at times, been able to rest our fingers on his little chest and this morning we were able to stroke his soft little back as the nurse turned him on his side for a bit for comfort. 

A day or two after getting all hooked up to his entourage of monitors, they were able to free up his left foot of connection to anything and for the first time, we were able to really wrap our hand around something and hold tight.  It felt so good and that whole day all I wanted to do was hold on to that foot and when I left for the night, I kissed the bottom of it and gave it a little eskimo kiss with my nose!!!  So, for the past few days I’ve had a growing love affair with Rudy’s foot.  It was the last thing I held on to when he left for surgery this morning and it was the first thing I looked for when he came back.  It’s still free of any cords and as his appearance changes before he starts looking like himself again (the doctor warned us tonight that he’ll most likely get quite puffy and to not be alarmed), you can bet that sweet little foot will be the constant I’ll be looking for to grab onto and give a reassuring squeeze!

Good night everybody, Sleep well…Good night Rudy, I’m so proud of you!!!

Surgery Update

Just got a call here in the waiting room that gave us a start. Way too early. The OR nurse just wanted to give us a report that everything is going fine, bypass is set up, and Dr. Reemtsen is starting the critical part of the procedure.  Glad they keep us posted, I guess. We’re praying and trying hard not watch the clock. But I know full well when 40 minutes is up. Please pray.