The past week and a half has been filled with a number of doctor visits and with each new consultation, I hand over Rudy’s discharge summary and we skim the details of his 6 month stay in the ICU. That coupled with the time I’ve spent going through 100s of pictures for the slideshow I’ve been working on are staggering reminders of all that Rudy has been through. I remember praying over and over on those darkest days “Please let us get him home…just for one day”. I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic but I didn’t want Rudy to die without feeling the sun on his face, without hearing the crash of waves at our nearby beach, without experiencing the sights, sounds and smells of home surrounded by his 3 older siblings. I wanted all of this for Rudy but, to be totally honest, I wanted it for our family as well…I wanted our family to experience life together with Rudy. There were times in our journey since Rudy’s diagnosis that I hoped for just one day with him outside the confines of the hospital walls and that anything beyond that would be “icing on the cake”. Well, here we are 10 days post-discharge and knee-deep in icing, so to speak. 🙂
Life in the CTICU/PICU taught me to literally take life one day at a time and to NOT take for granted any time we had with Rudy. The hundreds of hours spent in the hospital allowed me and Rolf to be centrally focused on Rudy’s condition, to capture every moment as best we could and to take the time to process what was happening on the blog…luxuries, really, because all helped me to stop and cherish what’s important. Well, I’m settling back into my home that I enjoy with my family that I love and deeply grateful for the 10 days we’ve had Rudy home with us. In the midst of all the adjustments of having Rudy home and accepting my new role at home, I feel the challenge for me will now be to apply the lessons I learned in recent months to our family’s life from this point forward…that as the demands of “normal” life start to creep back into my focus, my commitment to take life one day at a time, not sweat the small stuff and truly cherish my husband and ALL my kids remains in the forefront of my mind and heart. I know it sounds cliche but whether we are faced with a life-threatening condition or not, our days are numbered and I want to respond to life not as if I’m entitled to tomorrow but, instead, as if tomorrow is “icing on the cake” no matter what it holds. Unfortunately, this is so much easier to articulate than it is to practice…how quickly my good intentions fly out the window when a phone call with a not-so-helpful customer service rep from a medical supply company makes my blood boil OR when I begin to resent my responsibilities in the home out of sheer exhaustion…a worthy challenge, indeed!
On the Rudy-front, we have had a good week. As I mentioned, we’ve been to a few doctor appointments and a few pharmacies. We’re in the process of weaning him off methadone (withdrawal treatment), prednisone (steroid) and diuril (diaretic) but we’ve added two heart medications as ordered by the local peds cardiologist. The daily schedule of meds, diaper changes, trach and g-tube care, periodic suctioning, time on the mister, feeds, etc still makes for a full day but it is easier today than it was last week which makes it safe to assume it will be even easier next week. He still isn’t smiling but his brow isn’t furrowed continually so I think he is lightening up. I haven’t ventured outside home much except to go to doctor appointments but even that feels less intimidating. Rudy had his first fitful night last night since being home which left me and Rolf a little foggy-headed today and he remained pretty uncomfortable for most of the day so we’ll keep a close eye on him…not sure whether it’s withdrawal symptoms from the methadone wean OR teething (two teeth have now cut through!) so we watch and wait. He is a bit backwards…mad and fitful until we got to the diagnostic lab today and then he fell asleep while they stuck him with a needle for the blood draw!! Funny boy…
FYI: Stay tuned for upcoming details of Rudy’s Debut Party we hope to have in mid-May…an opportunity to have his baby dedication as well as thank all of you who have supported our family during this time and helped pray Rudy home!!!! Family, Friends, Faith – many reasons to celebrate! We sure hope you can join us…
