Max’s Wish

Thursday evenings I’m greeted by a stack of paper that’s often larger than any facing me at the office.  This is the day that the kids bring home their Thursday folders with lots of completed coursework, bulletins from teachers and the like.  Lately, most of the stuff has been getting a half-hearted scan but this one stopped me in my tracks tonight:

maxs-wish

It’s easy to get lulled into thinking that Trish and I are fighting for Rudy while the rest of the family watches, but Max reminded me of the fact that there are six of us fighting together.  The kids may not own this the way Trish and I can, but they are bearing loads of their own.  Overall, I am so impressed with them and their ability to navigate this time, thanks largely to people who have come alongside them.  They are doing well under far-from-ideal circumstances–with Trish and I taking turns in LA and seeing a different arrangement caretakers after school.  On more than one occasion, each of them has said they wished life was “normal again”.  The way they tend to display their stress is in feeling emotion out of proportion to the circumstance–a small disappointment becomes a tantrum; minor anger becomes a tirade.

About a month ago Trish and I realized that as important as it is for us to be with Rudy in the CTICU, it’s just as important for us to be in Goleta with Wilson, Max and Olivia.  I can’t even begin to thank everyone who has paid special attention to our kids in the midst of this.  In addition to praying that Max’s wish will come true, I also pray that he, Wilson and Olivia will emerge intact from the battle.  In meeting with a friend this week, he stressed the importance of making sure that they know that we would just as quickly drop everything for them as we are doing for Rudy–and that might mean giving them attention at Rudy’s expense.  Challenging to do, but Rudy is being watched closely and prayed for by hundreds whether we’re there or not.  So in the upcoming week, we’re intent on making sure that our Christmas, unique as it may be this year, will include times of uninterrupted focus on these three super kids.

Working to Gain Balance Again

Well, our little fighter looks like he spent the day in the ring!  Rudy has had a very full day and looks pretty pale and beat up but he’s holding steady.  The challenge today has been to find his balance again…his heart rate and blood pressure have been high and, at times, his sats have been low.  Anytime he has a procedure it takes a while to fine-tune the meds just right so everything works together.  He also has had a fever off and on which Dr. Rick described as a post-op fever…most likely caused by the inflammation in the chest cavity produced during the pleurodesis.  Although the procedure itself is relatively minor, the recovery is actually quite painful.  Rudy will be monitored closely for pain the next 48 hours as he has many sources of pain…his chest cavity, the incision on his side from today’s surgery, the sutures on each foot from Tuesday’s lymphangiogram attempt, and the new picc line they put in his right arm today because the line in his groin fell out after surgery!  I normally have to leave the room when they put picc lines in but today nurse practitioner Anita let me stay if I wore a hair net and mask…I was glad I could stay with Rudy.

Nurse Trish?
Nurse Trish?

As we wait to see whether or not the pleurodesis was effective, we would appreciate your prayers for Rudy’s comfort and the team’s ability to manage his pain the next couple of days.  He deserves a long rest and we pray he does so with as little discomfort as possible.  There hasn’t been any discussion about starting his formula feeds again and I imagine they’ll wait a day or two on that.  Rolf will make his way down tomorrow and stay with Rudy over the weekend…hopefully they’ll both rest comfortably in preparation for a full holiday week next week!  I’ll head home tomorrow to be with the kids and do last minute Christmas prep!  Our whole family will return to L.A. on Tuesday to spend Christmas with Rudy!  How is it that Christmas is only 1 week away?  Blessings to you all…

Safe and Sound

Rudy is back.  Once again, he was a real trooper and, I think,  is glad to be back in his room safe and sound (I wonder how many guardian angels have been deployed for Rudy over the past 11 weeks?).  Nurses Sara and Cheryl have been getting him settled back in with a fresh diaper (they always bring him back from OR diaperless) and fresh blankets so he is looking cozy warm now.  Dr. Brian said all went as he expected.  He looked for any obvious leakage and couldn’t pinpoint anything specific so he conducted the pleurodesis on the right side.  It appeared that there was some drainage coming from the left side out the right chest tube which means that once the right pleural cavity is closed off, fluid could start to collect on the left side requiring a pleurodesis procedure on the left side as well but we’ll have to wait and see.  “Why not do both sides at once” you ask?  Well, I understand that you wouldn’t ever do both sides simultaneously in case there are complications – you’d need the support of the other lung.  So, we’ll relax and see what transpires the next couple of days.  Rudy is doing well right now…stable and sleeping.  Thank you, dear ones, for your prayers for him today!

On return from OR
On return from OR

 

Ah...much better!
Ah...much better!

Happy 11-week Birthday!

precious boyIt has been a cold, rainy, blustery day here in west L.A. so there hasn’t been much motivation to leave Rudy’s warm room.  Rudy’s assignment was to rest, rest, rest today in order to recover from yesterday’s procedure and in preparation for tomorrow’s surgery …he started battling a high heart rate off and on last night and that continued all day today accompanied by red-faced tantrums and general discomfort so he has kept nurse Amy on her toes by setting off his monitor alarm practically every time she sat down to do her charting.  Hopefully he’ll be able to sleep well tonight (I know nurse Amy will!).  He’s number two in the OR tomorrow so he’ll be transported downstairs late morning/early afternoon.  It seems to me that it is taking him longer and longer to recover from his “procedures” so I’m praying tomorrow’s pleurodesis will do the trick for many reasons.  Dr. Brian will enter Rudy’s side, irritate or “rough up” the lung and chest cavity lining creating scar tissue so they will fuse together and seal off the pleural cavity.  It could take the fluid up to 4 days to stop draining so we’ll have some more waiting to do over the weekend.  While he’s in there, Dr. Brian will do some other things to, hopefully, increase our odds of success.  The team stopped Rudy’s feeds the night before last and although it seemed his stomach was softer and ready for formula again today they decided not to start the feeds back up again until after tomorrow’s surgery…maybe the extra rest for his stomach will do him some good and make the next attempt at feeding stick!!

Happy 11-week birthday Rudy!  You’re a pro-fighter, little man…you deserve a trip to Disneyland!!

Not Much More To Add…

As Rolf posted earlier, the attempt at the lymphangiogram was aborted after several attempts to find a vessel big enough…Nurse Jenny described how the doctor and his tech were working with vessels just a tad bit bigger than a strand of hair!!!  Amazing…    It’s disappointing but not just for us…everyone involved in getting this set up is disappointed and there is comfort in knowing we’re not alone.  Rudy has rested comfortably since his return to the room, opening his eyes for a little bit and then falling back into a deep sleep.  We’ll hunker-down again and wait for the Pleurodesis to take place on Thursday…Rudy has the #2 slot on the list for that day.  Dr. Brian will conduct the procedure through an incision on Rudy’s side…essentially going in and “roughing up” the lung and chest wall so the two will fuse together eliminating the pleural cavity.  If it does succeed at getting rid of this fluid then the process of weaning Rudy from the vent could begin next week.  If it doesn’t work then we’ll have to go back to waiting for the fluid to stop on it’s own.  Dr. Brian described the pleurodesis as the last surgical “ditch effort” in addressing this issue.  The risks involved in the procedure itself are minimal…the threat of another disappointment – pretty high BUT, no matter what happens, I’m commited to getting up again, readjusting expectations again and moving forward even if it’s ever-so-slowly!  I’m starting to feel a bit like Scarlett O’Hara no matter the disappointments…”afterall, tomorrow is another day”.

On a sweet note, Rudy has gotten alot of special attention today, especially now that he is sporting a brand new hospital gown made ,with love, by Oma.  I think Oma has tapped into a new, unexplored market!  His little gown is complete with special velcro closures all over to accomodate his lines and tubes – so precious! 

a new line in baby hospital gowns!
a new line in baby hospital gowns!

Your steadfastness in praying is an amazing blessing…thank you for your diligence and faith!  I am humbled by the sacrifices made by so many on Rudy’s behalf.  Thank you dear friends!!!!!!!

No Magic Bullets Today…

Trish called about an hour ago and said that unfortunately the team was unable to perform the lymphangiogram.  They were unable to find a line in Rudy’s little feet to inject through.  He’s returned to the room and is probably going to be knocked out for the rest of the day.  Obviously not the news we wanted to hear.  As much as we try to keep our expectations in check that any one step will mark a turnaround, it’s hard not to be disappointed.  From here, they will do a pleurodesis surgery on Thursday which seals the pleural cavity thereby making it impossible for fluid to collect there.

Thanks for praying with us through the day.  Wish I could close with a thoughtful statement that puts everything in perspective, but I’ve got little.  We remain hopeful, just so long as it doesn’t need to be a happy jumping-around kind of hope; just a resolve that God will get us through.  In the meantime, I’m very sad that my son needs to go through all of this.

He’s Stable…

I’m settled back in Rudy’s room…VERY empty without the little man and his rig in here but I’ve unpacked and am catching up on some emails while I wait.  Dr. Rick is on the floor this week and he just went downstairs to check on Rudy.  They are about 2 hours into what could be a 6-8 hour procedure (it makes sense, now, why it took some time to pull this all together as it’s a much longer process than any of us understood it to be).  Dr. Rick reported that they were unable to get to where they need to go in the first attempt so they’re going at it from the other foot and getting the catheter set so the actual test hasn’t begun yet…Rudy is sleeping comfortably and his numbers are good – so grateful he is tolerating it all so far and praying he remains stable throughout the procedure.  Dr. Ryan and Nurse Jenny are with him, Drs. Robert and Rick are checking in regularly as is today’s RT and Dr. Collins and his tech are performing the procedure so Rudy is very well attended.  Thank you for your continued prayers…I’ll update again later…