On The Back Burner…

With Rudy’s Glenn surgery date still unknown, I’ve decided to move forward with plans for the holidays.  Expecting that Rudy would have been to UCLA and back by now, we really have lived life this fall from one cardiologist appointment to the next…afraid to plan anything specific.  With Thanksgiving and Christmas literally just around the corner…I think it’s time to put the Glenn on the back burner of my mind for now and start making plans for some holiday fun.  Unfortunately, we are restricted from traveling to be with our families for Christmas but even planning for a quiet celebration at home involves a mental shift and some preparation.  The one benefit of being in the hospital during all the major holidays last year was that I got out of making a big turkey dinner!  🙂  So now I’m looking at the calendar wondering if I can pull off my annual holiday jewelry show in addition to the fun family traditions.  It is exciting to anticipate the holidays at home and think that Rudy will get to experience cookie decorating with his siblings, the twinkling lights on a BIG Christmas tree (nothing like the miniature tree he had in his CTICU room last year) and Christmas music playing throughout the house 24/7!!! 

Christmas prep started earlier this week at Olivia’s Brownie troop meeting as we started practicing Christmas carols to sing at a local retirement home in a few weeks.  Rudy got fussy waiting in his stroller but there wasn’t a good spot for him to stretch out anywhere so I ended up putting him in my guitar case while I led the girls in their singing…He liked the view from the case, I think.  He also got to show off his new (and FOURTH official) haircut!! 

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Hanging out at Girl Scouts...

 

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...in Mommy's guitar case!

 

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Let the Holiday Whirlwind of Fun begin!!!

We know why there wasn’t ever a “Mrs.” Vader

I don’t think we’ve ever gone a full week without posting before.  It’s not like there haven’t been milestones and progress to write about.  Sleep deprivation would be the culprit.  Rudy has had a little battle with a virus.  Fortunately, there were no fevers or runny nose–just  a lot of junk in his lungs that bring on coughing fits.  The medical mystery we’d love some insight into is why the fits always get worse at night.  He’s pretty much in the same position on his back or side all of the time, and is able to sleep peacefully for long stretches during the day without coughing or need for any suction.  That all changes just about the time we start hitting a good REM cycle.  We’ve had our share of nights this week of getting up every 30 minutes to suction him clean.  In between, the sleep we do get is kind of like that one would get if you had to share a room with Darth Vader.  That little trach makes a distinct array of snorts and wheezes…none of which would be classified as “soothing”.

But no matter how fitful the night was, the morning always brings kicking feet and happy wiggles (Rudy’s way of telling us he’s ready to face the day).  So Trish and I take inventory of any new bruises we inflicted on each other by using our elbows to indicate whose turn it is to get up and tend to Rudy, and we stumble on to face the day.

Enough with the stupor.  On to the milestones.  Rudy celebrated his 13 month birthday on November 1st.  He also crossed the 20lb barrier by just a few ounces (time to change the car seat!).   Wilson came home with a stellar report card from his first quarter at Junior High.  Max and the mightly Chargers finished out their football season with a respectable showing in the playoffs.  Trish and I celebrated our 17th anniversary on November 7th.  I know many of you are wondering how I could ever surpass the way I spoiled my wife last year, but thanks to our good friends at Tiffany (watch for an upcoming post) I think I did OK.

We’ll be catching you up with some of the more unique happenings our life in the days ahead, but for now we’ll stick to a medical update.  We had an appointment with Dr. Harake and the word is…we’re still waiting.  We really thought that we’d be coming out of this with a date in hand for our return to UCLA, but that isn’t the case.  Treatment of HLHS kids is a series of judgment calls and we’re once again seeing that Rudy has his own unique approach and timeline.  Two of the key indicators of when it’s time to do the Glenn are 1) when his 02 sats drop (indicating that he’s outgrowing his shunt) and 2) when his right ventricle looks strained.  Rudy’s sats haven’t dropped (in fact they seem to be going up–a hopeful sign of improved lungs) and the ventricle looks fine on the echocardiogram.

Rudy’s uniqueness is evidenced in that the indicators that it’s time for the Glenn usually come at 4 to 6 months of age.  There are still a few conversations to be had, but the docs feel it best that the timing of the Glenn be determined by Rudy’s physiology and not according to generalized timelines.  Dr. Harake is quick to point out that this is a major operation which shouldn’t be rushed into–especially with a patient with a track record of very challenging recovery from heart operations.  On his last cath, the high pressure in the pulmonary artery increased the risk factor.  This is something that might change in time, but given that the two key indicators aren’t pushing the need for the Glenn, there’s even more grounds to wait.

There are a lot of areas where we might accept our kids’ uniqueness.  Lots of times we actually celebrate it.  Admittedly it’s a bit challenging to know how to respond to it in this case because it continues our uncertainty.  That part of us that longs to be able to know the future and schedule things craves to have some knowledge about when something so significant is going to take place.  It’s not like we want it to happen, but given that it does it’s hard to escape that looming feeling.

As I’ve never heard “convenient” among the descriptions for HLHS, I guess this is just par for the course.  We are so grateful for doctors who are deeply committed to Rudy and wrestle over the best course of treatment for him.  I’m glad no one is swayed by general timelines.  I’m most glad that all of this means more time with Rudy here at home with us.  Sometimes it takes a concerted effort to be reminded of this, but that really is the priority.

Happy Halloween 2009

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Our very own "Bob's Big Boy"

 

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He thinks this is very funny!

 

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Wilson a.k.a. Keith Moon of The Who, Brandon the caped 7th grader, Max the Fearless Racer and Olivia the Princess Fairy

 

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Mom the Spider Queen and Dad as himself, um, a Nerd.

 

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Ready to go!

 

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Counting the stash...

 

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Still smiling...

 Happy Halloween Everyone!!! 

 

 

Multi-tasking Mishap

Exhibit A
Exhibit A
scorched trach2
Sanitized to an extreme!
For all you new trach moms out there, I recommend you not multi-task when boiling your child’s trach for the purpose of sanitizing it.  🙂  We change Rudy’s trach and replace it with a fresh, clean one each week.  I clean and boil the dirty trach and then once it’s dry, I pack it away for the next trach change.  Well, this past weekend I put Rudy’s trach on the stove while I prepared for dinner guests and tended to Rudy’s dirty diaper.  Max came in a bit later and said with a turned up nose “What’s that smell?”.  Somewhat irritated that Max was turning up his nose at the dinner I was preparing, I quickly responded “that’s mommy’s yummy potatoes, Maaaax!”.  Again with the turned up nose he looked at me quizically and walked away when I turned and noticed the smoke coming from the stove top!  Yikes!!!  No wonder Max had a turned up nose…it smelled awful!  Rudy’s trach looked like a over-toasted marshmallow and my pan was ruined…  More annoying than losing one of my most-used cooking pans is the fact that I have to track down another Shiley 4.0 Neo trach from our medical supply company (Apria…affectionately known in our household as “crApria”) which will inevitably involve more than one prescription faxed from our doctor’s office and several follow-up calls for which I have very little patience.  Oh well, we had fun with our dinner guests nonetheless and my potatoes turned out pretty good too.
We just haven’t had the heart to post at all since Logan’s funeral last week…in part because we’re tired, a little depressed and because the momentum we felt in Rudy’s treatment plan a couple of weeks ago feels like it has stalled a bit.  Some days it is really easy to wait for the Glenn especially because we are home and enjoying our fall together under one roof but then other days (like today) the wait is truly nerve-wracking!  (sigh)
We were relieved to get a call from the pediatrician’s office yesterday informing us that the H1N1 vaccination was in after a long delay.  I was instructed to come in with Rudy right away and to check in without mentioning why we were there.  Like everywhere else, our county received a very limited amount of vaccination doses…clearly not enough to go around…so going to get Rudy’s vaccination felt a bit like an undercover covert operation but we are grateful he made the cut.  Originally, Rudy’s doctor wanted all of us to get it as an added barrier of protection for Rudy but that isn’t possible at this point and after a call to the bigger kids’ doctor yesterday, it seems they’ve run out of the regular flu shot too so we trust the big kids will be their typical healthy selves this season and stay clear of any major bugs on their own!! 
While I had Rudy in the doctor’s office yesterday, I put him on the scale and he weighed in at 19 lbs 8 oz!  Rudy has outgrown formula and we started him on Pediasure two weeks ago which is high in calories.  The increase in calories seems to be helping him gain weight.  It’s still a delicate balance as an increase in volume can be problematic for his heart but because Rudy seems to be tolerating the higher caloric content of Pediasure, we can get him more calories in the same amount of volume.  The switch to Pediasure distracted us from making any headway with baby food…Rudy’s pretty uninterested in taking food from a spoon but we’ll start back up with our attempts now that he has transitioned to the yummy, vanilla pediasure shakes.  So, we move ever-so-slowly forward (but forward nonetheless) in the world of food and weight gain.
Lastly, Rudy had his annual assessment from Early Start Services this week that is overseeing his developmental progress.  Their assessment is broken down into 6 categories:  Fine Motor and Perceptual Skills, Cognitive, Language, Social/Emotional, Self-Care/Feeding and Gross Motor.  Overall,  Rudy is beginning to register in 5 out of the 6 categories at the 6-8 month age level and in 2 of the 6 categories at the 9-11 month age level.  As much as we would love to see him sitting on his own and becoming mobile, we are grateful for his progress and know these skills will emerge in time.  If they had a category for “smiles”, Rudy’s would register far beyond his years.
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Holding Our Breath

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We continue to mourn the loss of CTICU friend Logan and anticipate a beautiful celebration of his life this Thursday.  Rayme and Brett have shown such courage and vulnerability during this tremendously difficult time.  I know they appreciate our ongoing prayers.

It has been hard to know how to celebrate Rudy’s progress this week…we were pleased to find out at Friday’s well-child visit that Rudy finally registers on the growth chart.  At 18 lbs 8 oz and 28 inches long he ranks in the 3rd percentile for weight and the 5th percentile for height.  Dr. Abbott (pediatrician) is happy with Rudy’s general condition and feels  he doesn’t need to see Rudy again for 3 months…unless he gets sick.  Rudy is on the priority list for the H1N1 vaccination but the shipment is late in arriving to our Dr’s office so we wait…and are going through gallons of hand sanitizer in the meantime. 

I admit that the confidence we’ve felt in Rudy’s progress the past few weeks has been challenged in the wake of Logan’s sudden death.  The big exhale I felt after the pulmonologist’s report has shifted to holding my breath again.  The Elliott’s loss is a brutal reminder that we can’t protect these little ones from everything…for Logan, a virus turned deadly…as hard as we try to control Rudy’s environment for his protection, ultimately he is in God’s hands…just as he was in the hospital. 

I’m not even going to try to figure this one out…just please pray that God will shower Brett, Rayme and their family with comfort and direction as they wade (or maybe it feels more like “drudge”) through their grief.  No matter how you slice it, it’s heavy!  Thank you dear friends…

I got to hold Logan last year in the CTICU before I got to hold Rudy...
I got to hold Logan last year in the CTICU before I got to hold Rudy...

This Is A Tough One…

Our friend Logan
Our friend Logan

Just minutes after posting our gallery of goofy portraits earlier today, Rolf and I got the devastating news that Rudy’s CTICU buddy, Logan, passed away suddenly this morning (Wednesday, October 14th).  For our longtime Rudy’s Beat readers, you may remember that Logan arrived in the CTICU just a few days after Rudy…flown in from Santa Barbara at 2months of age when his serious heart condition was detected at a routine well-child visit.  Because of the SB connection, we bonded with Logan and his parents, Rayme and Brett, quickly.  Although Rudy and Logan did not have the same condition, they did have many of the same complications after their surgeries and for awhile it seemed we were walking parallel paths.  Logan’s struggle was fierce and intense but he survived and began to show major improvement which encouraged us as we waited for Rudy’s “turning point”.  For eight weeks, we shared life and created community with the Elliotts in the CTICU and rejoiced with them when Logan was discharged at the end of November ’08.  I watched Rayme make that tough transition to home after a long hospital stay and when our turn finally came to bring Rudy home, Rayme’s texts and blog comments were of great comfort and encouragement because I knew she had just been through it herself.  I ran into Brett and Logan at our cardiologist’s office shortly after we brought Rudy home from UCLA in May.  He looked so great and strong and happy.  Because he was doing so well (as the above picture would suggest), today’s news came completely out of left field.  It literally knocked the wind out of me and I immediately began to sob for Rayme and Brett and their families.  Please join us in praying for this precious family…for Brett, Rayme and big sisters Kaelee and Emma.  No one saw this coming and, as you can imagine, they need our prayers for grace, comfort, strength and faith as they face this tragic loss.  The losses along the way have been hard but this one is tough…hitting very close to home for me and Rolf.  Please blanket these dear ones in prayer.

Rudy followed Logan in one of their many extubation attempts and Logan was kind enough to pass his "extubation sign" on to Rudy when it was his turn!
Rudy followed Logan in one of their many extubation attempts and Logan was kind enough to pass his "extubation sign" on to Rudy when it was his turn!
Logan and Barbie at the Mattel Christmas Party Dec.08...
Logan and Barbie at the Mattel Christmas Party Dec.08...

1st Studio Portrait!

This week is marked by Rudy’s first trip to the Sears Portrait Studio.  Although we have a number of gorgeous pictures of Rudy thanks to Greg Lawler and his artistic eye, we really needed a cheezy portrait studio pic in celebration of his 1st birthday to complete the cheezy portrait studio collection we have in our hallway gallery of all the kids.  Rudy was a cooperative model and the photographer and I did all kinds of creative “tricks” to get the desired poses…as always, Rudy put up with Mommy’s shinanagins and this is what resulted…
We got it!!  The classic blue backgroud with goofy smile!!  Unfortunately, there was no controlling the hair...I did try!
We got it!! The classic blue backgroud with goofy smile!! Unfortunately, there was no controlling the hair...I did try!
Slap some wings on him and call Anne Geddes!
Slap some wings on him and call Anne Geddes!
Precious!
Precious!
Precious, precious!
Precious, precious!
Okay, so they weren't ALL great shots...
Okay, so they weren't ALL great shots...
Our family favorite!
Our family favorite!

 A walk down memory lane…here is the family gallery of 12-month portraits…

Wilson
Wilson
Max
Max
Olivia
Olivia
And now, Rudy!
And now, Rudy!

Here’s to many more “cheezy portrait” seasons ahead!

Rudy At Play

We saw Dr. Harake yesterday (SB Cardiologist) and he was pleased with the Pulmonologist’s report from Tuesday.  Rudy’s echo looked sound as well so this has been a good week for our little man.  Dr. Harake still feels we have some time before the Glenn…we get the impression from the UCLA team that they would like to move forward so, at this point, we’re going to let all parties discuss the situation and come up with a plan.  As much as we would love to get the Glenn over with, we trust the professionals to come up with a plan best for Rudy.

 

In the midst of all the doctor appointments this week,  we did have time to catch Rudy on video doing what he does best…being cute…

Rudy’s therapist wants Rudy sitting up more and, thankfully, he is tolerating it more and more…it used to be that he couldn’t sit up more than a few minutes but this week he sat comfortably for 15 minutes!!!  Rudy enjoyed some “sibling therapy” while practicing sitting up earlier this week…

And then my two hams wanted to teach Rudy one of our old family favorites…

Later that day, Wilson had time to love on the big “sittin’ up” boy…

As always, one day at a time…

Rudy’s World-Wide-Web of Birthday Fun

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As promised, here’s the pictures from all of those who celebrated Rudy’s birthday!  Your official Rudy’s Beat party favors are on the way and will fast become family heirlooms!

The Van Clan partying in Pine Valley!
The Van Clan partying in Pine Valley!
The Bettencourt, Fiorillo and Manning celebration was festive in Connecticut.
The Bettencourt, Fiorillo and Manning celebration was festive in Connecticut.
Not far away in Boston, Cousins Mya and Kyra were lovin Aunt Andi even more after the trip to Mickey D's.
Not far away in Boston, Cousins Maya and Kyra were lovin Aunt Andi even more after the trip to Mickey D's.
 
Uncle Steve, Aunt Michelle, Emma, Jonathan and Michael sent greetings from the Kansas heartland.
Uncle Steve, Aunt Michelle, Emma, Jonathan and Michael sent greetings from the Kansas heartland. Extra points for all being in Rudy-blue!!
 
Garrett (13, HLHS) didn't have any clothes the right color, but wanted it noted that his choice of a Rudy-blue pen duly noted. (small world--Rolf and Garrett's Mom went to HS together in NJ.)
Garrett (13, HLHS) didn't have any clothes the right color, but wanted it noted that his choice of a Rudy-blue pen duly noted. (small world--Rolf and Garrett's Mom went to HS together in NJ.)

 

My fine former colleagues (Dan, Manvi, Monique, Bonnie, Lauren, Rachel, Ashita) at Fuller took a birthday break.
My fine former colleagues (Dan, Manvi, Monique, Bonnie, Lauren, Rachel, Ashita) at Fuller took a birthday break.
 
...while Anna had to mind the store.
...while Anna had to mind the store.

 

Lisa from North Carolina was so busy at this conference she didn't have time to make a Rudy sign but she did wear blue in his honor!
Lisa from North Carolina was so busy at this conference she didn't have time to make a Rudy sign but she did wear blue in his honor!
But lest you think the party was limited by international boundaries–
Al and Stacy enjoyed going All-American in Ostrava (Czech Republic)
Al and Stacy enjoyed going All-American in Ostrava (Czech Republic)
The Zovaks sent greetings from down under (but since there's no mention of Rudy, we wonder if this is just a generic picture they send to everyone back home...)
The Zovaks sent greetings from down under (but since there's no specific mention of Rudy, we wonder if this is just a generic picture they send to everyone back home on their birthday...)

 Thanks everyone!  It was fun to see all of your celebrations and be overwhelmed by the number of cards and birthday greetings.  One last time—Happy Birthday, Rudy!