Okay, today was tough…

Hello dear ones, 

How wonderful it has been to read all the comments made on Rudy’s Beat the past couple of days…it feels like we’ve been on this really wild ride but in slow motion since early Wednesday morning when I realized Rudy was on his way!  We’ve had 3 days of some amazing ups and downs and we’ve really only just begun this journey!  Your continued prayers and comments on the blog have been such an encouragement and fun distraction. 

Today, I admit, was the toughest so far.  Today was discharge day and even though I’ve known for quite some time that getting discharged with Rudy in arm was not going to be our reality, when the time came to officially “leave” the hospital without him, I was overwhelmed with grief.  I was given a mountain of pamphlets and brochures in my “postpartum packet” that didn’t apply to my situation and a sweet little diaper bag that was quickly emptied of all baby stuff by the lactation nurse and promptly filled with breast pump supplies and storage bottles.  Not that I blame the staff for doing their normal discharge routine, but every step of the procedure was a heavy reminder of the fact we weren’t going home but to a hotel room and we weren’t going home with Rudy.

Instead, I walked the long corridor from the maternity unit to the CTICU with my bags in hand to “set up shop” in Rudy’s room.  A bright spot in my day was getting to hold Rudy’s sweet little left foot that was now free of a monitor and tape.   Another truly bright spot was seeing Wilson, Max and Olivia who took a day off from school to meet their brother!  Their hugs never felt better and although seeing Rudy for the first time was a bit disturbing, they quickly warmed up to him and had a nice visit. 

And so, we enter a new phase in this journey…it’s a little hard to process it all right now so I’ll wait to share some of the details of Rudy’s condition and upcoming surgery on Monday at a later time but even in the midst of the grief and exhaustion, we continue to experience God’s amazing grace and are so grateful for His presence with us. 

This made my day!

In case you didn’t pick this up from my comment entry, we’ve formed a unique friendship thanks to the blogosphere.  Check it out… http://katiemanning.wordpress.com/ entry for October 2nd.  We are so glad for Alan and Vickie and the way their courage and candor give us a model to emulate.  Please pray for Katie as you pray for Rudy.

I’ll write more of an update later… Trish is taking care of some photos on her laptop right now.  It’s 10pm and we’ve had a low-key day here at the hospital.  They moved Rudy from the NICU to the CTICU (ha, I know more acronyms than you do)–that’s from the newborn ICU to the Cardio-Thoracic ICU, so the surgery team can monitor him over the weekend.  Surgery is scheduled for Monday morning.  Trish is doing well after delivery and was able to move more freely as the day went on.  We’re pretty tired, but still too much adrenaline to sleep.  The kids were pretty excited to have a new baby brother, but also thought the milestone deserved a day off of school.  We’re making it up for them tomorrow as they’ll get to come to LA and see Rudy.  The Drs. say that things look as good as they can, but as we get closer to surgery on Monday, things could get a bit more difficult for Rudy as his half a heart can only go so long.  Right now he’s got a good number of tubes in him, but looks cute as a bug’s ear, so we’d love for the kids to see him sooner rather than later.  Thanks for reading and for not letting us walk this one alone.