How wonderful it has been to read all the comments made on Rudy’s Beat the past couple of days…it feels like we’ve been on this really wild ride but in slow motion since early Wednesday morning when I realized Rudy was on his way! We’ve had 3 days of some amazing ups and downs and we’ve really only just begun this journey! Your continued prayers and comments on the blog have been such an encouragement and fun distraction.
Today, I admit, was the toughest so far. Today was discharge day and even though I’ve known for quite some time that getting discharged with Rudy in arm was not going to be our reality, when the time came to officially “leave” the hospital without him, I was overwhelmed with grief. I was given a mountain of pamphlets and brochures in my “postpartum packet” that didn’t apply to my situation and a sweet little diaper bag that was quickly emptied of all baby stuff by the lactation nurse and promptly filled with breast pump supplies and storage bottles. Not that I blame the staff for doing their normal discharge routine, but every step of the procedure was a heavy reminder of the fact we weren’t going home but to a hotel room and we weren’t going home with Rudy.
Instead, I walked the long corridor from the maternity unit to the CTICU with my bags in hand to “set up shop” in Rudy’s room. A bright spot in my day was getting to hold Rudy’s sweet little left foot that was now free of a monitor and tape. Another truly bright spot was seeing Wilson, Max and Olivia who took a day off from school to meet their brother! Their hugs never felt better and although seeing Rudy for the first time was a bit disturbing, they quickly warmed up to him and had a nice visit.
And so, we enter a new phase in this journey…it’s a little hard to process it all right now so I’ll wait to share some of the details of Rudy’s condition and upcoming surgery on Monday at a later time but even in the midst of the grief and exhaustion, we continue to experience God’s amazing grace and are so grateful for His presence with us.