A Gradual Fade

Our family had another special evening out last night ;)…Olivia was honored at the SBART annual awards ceremony as athlete of the year for girls lacrosse.  ‘Such a sweet affirmation and I’m so grateful for the positive year she’s having.  I pray all this goodness is seared into her heart (all the kids’ hearts frankly) and buoys that precious heart for a long while!  After a string of evening commitments, however, I’m glad we’re staying in tonight, I need to rest up before tomorrow’s big game!!  Ha, ha

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The past couple of weeks have not only been an exercise in pacing myself physically, they’ve been an exercise in us pacing ourselves in midst of this disease as well.  I say “us” because, as you know, this is a team effort and the continual adjustments impact all involved in my care.  We’ve had a lot coming at us…more dr. appts than usual, the delivery of my breathing machine and not-so-smooth learning curve, the boys’ return and their adjustment to my greater dependency, my first cortisone shot to combat the tweaks that come with my continual loss of muscle, an increase in choking incidents, a brand new issue with pressure points and my losing the ability to lift a cup to take a drink depending on the time of day.  Frustration and irritability on my part seem to be on the rise too…understandable, no doubt, but certainly not optimal for all involved.  I so want to endure this journey with grace and dignity and patience…but sometimes that requires more energy than I can muster.  My frustration came to a head last night when I wanted to engage in a discussion with the kids about general life stuff and I just couldn’t…the brilliant insights 😉 are all there, what I lack is the ability to express them and that breaks my heart.  ‘Thousands of thoughts but only a few words.  Today I’m grieving all the things I feel I haven’t taught the kids yet…oh, I know, they’re smart and will figure life out beautifully, it’s just that we do life so well together and a big part of that for me has been the processing of life we’ve done together.  It’s one thing to fade from public life, it’s entirely different to feel like you’re fading from personal life.   How foreign it all is!

Ok, boo hoo, that’s enough.  I’m still praying for healing or a plateau or, better yet, Jesus’ second coming…join me?  Thanks friends!!!

12 thoughts on “A Gradual Fade

  1. Sweet Trish! You have imparted YOURSELF into your kiddos…you have done amazingly with them…I am so proud of YOU and your bravery and openness. I miss you so much…I plan on seeing you in 2019…by hook or by crook I’m getting to Santa Barbara. Lots of love friend…Sarah

  2. Oh Trish, I love you so much~ Yes, I am joining you in prayer for Jesus to come quickly and in the mean time for this disease to slow down and for your complete peace and restoration. Much love to you and congratulations on all these amazing blessings. Hugs my dear friend. Sloan

    1. Good morning, Trish,
      You and Rolf have poured yourselves and reflected Christ for them and into them since the day they were born and have given them a firm, solid Rock foundation…they have already begun to soar! Bravo!

      I pray healing for you and oh so yearn for the return of Christ!! : )

      God bless you with peace, contentment, joy, humour, strength…

      Much love,

      Jo

  3. My love and prayers for you, my special daughter. you are most wonderful Mom they could ever have and gave them to tools to carry on. See you soon and give you special hugs

    1. Dang it Trish! I hate this for you and your family! Lord, Lord, Lord- minister to my sweet friend Trish! Surround her with Your Holy Spirit Lord. I am asking for a miracle that only You can bring. We thank You and Praise You Lord as You continue to guide and direct this precious family. I ask all of this in The Precious and Mighty Name of Jesus Christ! AMEN! I love you sweet Trish. Praying for a reprise for you today and for strength, grace, dignity and a calm spirit!

  4. Trish — I love you. I miss you. I am praying for you. I am so sorry. And yes, please, Lord — a nice, long PLATEAU, please.

    1. Thank you Father for all the rich experiences the Geyling family are experiencing together. What a gift! Farther I do speak to Trish’s body in Jesus name and say, be restored to the way God made you to be.
      Trish your trust in Jesus and love for him is transforming all of us. Your words and thoughts, many or few are very powerful. Thank you. Enjoy the game tonight.

  5. You may not use the words right now Trishy but you are still teaching them, and me every day with your grace, nobility, tender and wise words. I tend to cry when I write you and that blows – because I am so thankful for you and your family. See you soon sweetie – we love you.

  6. I read this on Mother’s Day and what you are experiencing is a mother’s love and moves me very much. I love you, Trish!

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