Here We Go Again!

It honestly feels like Max and I just picked up Olivia from her last day of 10th grade and here we were dropping her off for her first day of 11th grade this morning!  Of course, the boys made sure her send off was done out LOUD with great fanfare as Max captured on his IG story…

If the boys hadn’t been there to make me laugh so hard, I would have been sobbing as we watched our girl walk away toward another school year…I have fears specific to today that are too somber, too personal to articulate but as burdensome as they may be right now, I have great confidence that Olivia is going to ROCK this school year with her trademark humor, grace and (day to day relevant) faith.  I’m so grateful for her, her big brothers, her band of close friends and the folks in her life committed to praying for her.  I envision her buoyed high above the turbulent waters that swirl beneath her…dry, safe, secure and joyful (with a deep, nourishing joy)!  May it be so, Lord, consistently all year long!!!

Although Wilson moved back to APU a week and a half ago, he has been back and forth a couple of times in the last week to tie up loose ends and just left “for good”…it is hard to believe he is beginning his senior year!  The reality of that is starting to sink in for him…he’s excited and we’re excited for him.  Like with high school, we don’t want him to put the cart before the horse and check out prematurely…there is a lot to embrace this last year of college and we want him to soak it all in but Wilson has set a post-college course for himself that is thoughtful and deliberate…he has a lot about which to be excited and it’s fun to watch him live it out.

Speaking of new-to-us vehicles, our family has acquired THREE this summer!!!  #1 Wilson pictured above with his very own Toyota Tacoma (a baby version of his dad’s Tacoma)…

#2 Max and his very own scooter!!!  Perfect for commuting on The Point…

(Following in his mother’s footsteps)

#3 My Harley…

No, actually, #3 is another medical van!  Yep, we are there again.

I’ll share the van acquisition story with you sometime when I have more emotional energy because it’s a real special story but, for now, we are grateful to have a van that will accommodate my wheelchair and we’re trying to find our footing in the shuffling of mindsets and the juggling of vehicles (my felt physical needs are kind of stuck between what the Mazda offers me and what the medical van offers me so each outing will require an assessment and a choice).  I think I had an unrealistic expectation that the medical van would be an easy adjustment and an effortless move toward greater independence for me…I rode in it for the first time yesterday and was, once again, hit by reality…there’s a learning curve to getting in and out of it with a motorized wheelchair, I can’t latch in by myself and I was caught off guard by a flood of memories that came rushing back as Rolf got me settled knowing exactly what to do and how to do it.  How is it that we’re back here again so soon?!?

I’ve had several friends recently make a point of telling me they are praying for Rolf and I do appreciate specific prayers for him.  I’m grateful God gave me him.  He is doing a good job of balancing self-care, work and home but the demands on his time and mental energy are great.  He has been chipping away at a long list of difficult “to dos” (i.e. updating our will/trust paperwork with a lawyer, bathroom modification remodel, acquiring durable medical equipment, fixing broken water heaters, etc, etc, etc) and it feels, to me, like things just pertaining to me can easily be added to that list on a daily basis.  I asked him if he was feeling overwhelmed and he put it well…he said, “It’s a relief to get things marked off the list but none of it brings any joy” (except for maybe getting the water heater fixed – warm showers bring me joy).  So true!  For me, the accomplishments serve to declutter the mind but not lighten the emotional burden.  It’s still crushing and, at times, suffocating.

So, there’s lots going on around here and I have some work ahead of me adjusting to and becoming proficient in the equipment I’ve acquired this summer.  Updates to come…:)  In the meantime, may remnants of summer fun linger a while longer for us all!  Back-to-School Blessings everyone!!!