Desperation + God = Inspiration

We had our annual church meeting a few weeks ago and I was struck by a couple of things…1.) the fact that we saw the last “Annual Slide Show” with pictures of our Rudy in it (super sad!) and…2.) how much our community has been through this past year.  Our pastor made the observation that as a result of the heavy losses in our congregation this year and the lingering trauma in our community as a whole from the month-long Thomas fire and tragic mudslides this past winter, there is a sense of desperation and a greater depth in our congregation’s worship of and expressed need for God.  I would agree.  I feel it personally…there is a certain level of desperation that is drawing me into deeper spiritual awareness, for sure!

That got me thinking about “desperation” and “inspiration” and how the two can go hand in hand. I’m sure we could brainstorm all kinds of examples of amazing things desperate people have been inspired to do throughout history but it’s not really about the “end result” for me…it’s about the process.  It’s about the relationship between the two and how God is using my desperation to stir my soul, draw me to Himself and lead me to inspired action that, in turn, nourishes me…whether it’s time with loved ones, a legacy project, blog post, music or art, for example.  The problem is desperation is a strong emotion that can easily overwhelm and immobilize & parceling out and following through on inspiration is hard work…it’s just a whole lot easier to wallow in self pity and binge watch Netflix in ones super comfy adjustable bed!  So, my goal is to do the hard work, lean into the desperation just long enough to get to the deeper inspiration part and find joy in unpacking the treasure that follows.  🙂

In the meantime, this is going on too:  I tried Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) last week.  A friend highly recommended it several weeks back and offered to pay for a few sessions so after some research, communication with my doctor and a call to the company who manufactures my implanted port,  I finally made it to my first session.  Based on what I’ve read, my expectation going into it is that the therapy could help boost my energy level.  There are other potential benefits but I’m not sure how realistic they are in my situation.  I liked it.  It was comfortable and relaxing.  The one challenge for me is getting in and out of the chamber.  I need to determine if the energy I might gain is worth the huge effort it’d require to make it happen.  We’ll see…I’ll keep you posted.

My leg brace arrived last week.  It’s taking some getting used to but I’m adjusting.  The good news is that I’m motivated to wear it because I can feel the support it gives me in my weakened ankle and knee AND it’s alleviating the tension in my hip quite a bit.  The bad news is I came home and emptied out my closet of shoes which was sad.  I like my shoes and I had some I was “saving” (for some stupid reason) and never got to wear!!!!  I was sad and overwhelmed by another big bag of “stuff” cluttering up my garage when Olivia got inspired to post some of my discarded shoes on her Poshmark account and made 4 sales in the first 24 hours…which ended up injecting some fun into the whole crazy reality!  Yay Olivia!!

IMG_1549

In other news:  DPHS Girls lacrosse made it to the playoffs and had their first play off win in program history last Wednesday.  They advance to the semi-finals THIS TUESDAY at DP so if you are local, come cheer on the Lady Chargers with us!

I just happened to capture one of Olivia’s goals on video during Wednesday’s game (#keepaneyeonnumbernine) which is fun to share and though we’re super happy for Olivia’s success this season, what makes this whole season so special is watching the team and coaching staff as a whole.  The girls are all strong players…the attackers, midfielders and defenders all play to their strengths and play well as a team…the coaches are competitive and positive and expect great things of the girls on AND off the field.  To see our girl thrive in this season of personal loss and uncertainty is a huge blessing and I’m grateful for God’s continued grace.

IMG_1530
Last week’s #9 cheering section! 😉

Rolf and I were forced to address some garage issues in preparation for the boys’ return from college this weekend and that meant passing on Rudy’s durable medical equipment.  😦  So, so happy to find homes for his walker and wheelchair where they’ll get good use but it’s still hard to let go of Rudy’s things…

IMG_1518
So grateful to my friends at the MTU for passing Rudy’s walker on to a family who expressed their need of a Rifton walker for home use just a day before I called them about Rudy’s!  
IMG_1543
Rudy’s wheelchair found it’s home with Joni & Friends and their “Wheels for the World” program. His chair will get refurbished and sent somewhere in the world to a child in need.

Olivia unearthed this little treasure from one of her social media accounts and it made us chuckle out loud…oh that boy!

I think I’ll just leave it at that for today.  🙂  Thank you dear ones for your ongoing prayers!

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Desperation + God = Inspiration

  1. Remain in awe of your courage and grace. You are all in my thoughts every single day.

  2. I am imagining a dear little boy who will be so grateful for his new chair! Congrats to Livy!!! And I love the shoe story…..You all create silver linings to a very dark cloud. So glad you know the Lord is close….. Love you much!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s