I’ve had one of those weeks that frustrate the ba-geebers out me…one of those weeks when I’ve been on the phone trying to coordinate Rudy’s care and not getting what he needs and not making any progress on the “to do” list. It’s part crAPRIA, part bureaucracy and part bad luck. Unfortunately, I’ve developed a bit of a short fuse over the years when it comes to stuff like this so it doesn’t take much to get my blood boiling. Yeah, go ahead, transfer my call, make me repeat myself over and over, let’s take this back to square ONE a-gain, better yet, don’t answer the phone, don’t return my calls, IGNORE ME! Honestly, it sounds so absurd with all the “bigger stuff” going on in our lives but this is what pushes me over the edge and I end up shaking my fists at the phone wanting to scream at the poor customer service representative on the other end “I wasn’t created for this!!!!“.
What grieves my heart is that this isn’t just an emotional reaction to a frustrating situation but that I really do struggle with “purpose” in our journey with Rudy. I shared about this struggle in a talk I gave at Westmont College a couple of years ago so this isn’t anything new but it remains a fresh wound. When the mundane frustrations in this journey overwhelm me and discontent creeps in, I long for the extraordinary things I dreamt of doing when I was young. Sometimes, when I’m really feeling down, I allow myself to feel guilty over the lack of extraordinary in my life…maybe I’m not trying hard enough or maybe I’m too afraid to “go for it” and I’m using Rudy as an excuse, etc, etc, etc…do you know what I mean?
I share this because I read a blog post this morning that speaks to this VERY ISSUE!!! I feel like God is saying to me “Here you go. I see you. I see where this week has taken you. This is for you.” Click here to read the blog in it’s entirety but two quotes that jumped out at me are these:
“You aren’t here to be extraordinary, to accomplish the extraordinary, or to experience the extraordinary. You are simply here to be fully you, limitations and all.”
The author went on to describe a situation he and his wife experienced and added: “And, for a moment, I love our limitations, because they confined us to this experience. Our limitations nudged us toward this particular mountaintop.”
It’s true! As limiting and isolating as life makes me feel sometimes, the reality is I’m confined to experiences that, as this blog can attest , are mountaintops in and of themselves.
5 thoughts on “Grateful”
Thanks Trish, I know of others (including me) who will be encouraged by your post and the blog you’ve attached. Indeed, God is good all of the time:)
Yay Kay! This makes me happy! Thank you!
Dear sweet Trish, Every time I read about all the things you are doing and all the experiences you are going through with Rudy, my first thought is what an extraordinary woman of God you are! I think God is using you as an example for all of us who don’t have to deal with everything you deal with — you always have a smile and a good word to share, and yet I know how difficult it can be at times. Thank you for just being you!!
Love you sweet Trish you are extraordinary just the way you are and the love you spread. ( too bad about crappy crapia. They have not caught up up). Thank God for my sweet daughter
Hi Trish, As I mature I find it quite funny how we all, the human race, seem to be on the same journey, because I often read of similar challenges in a variety of personal situations. I must say that I am surprised to hear you write about this because I have always admired how extraordinary you are! I think it is so easy to look at others and feel that we’re not getting enough out of our lives. Thank you for being so open and candid about this. It helps us all! It helps us all to be that much more connected. You are a treasure!