The Buoyant Hope of Heaven

I went to my friend’s service today…a beautiful celebration of her life.  Rolf and Wilson are out of town this week and Max stayed home with Olivia who has been battling a high fever and feeling awful since Thursday so Rudy and I went for our family.  I admit I struggled about going earlier today…I didn’t feel great leaving Olivia and I knew it would be hard to navigate the crowd with Rudy in tow but I’m so glad I went…it was beautiful.   As expected, the church was filled to its capacity.  I wasn’t sure if Rudy would be quiet so I sat in the baby/cry room with him…enclosed with a view of the sanctuary and audio piped in through a speaker.  As it turned out, Rudy was amazingly sensitive and sat quietly watching the service intently (especially the video montage of pictures of Kenon).  I, on the other hand, sat with tears streaming down my face the entire time (sobbing at times …grateful I was hidden in a soundproof room!)

 

For a handful of reasons my heart has been heavy the past couple of weeks…so heavy that it has felt like I’m barely keeping my head above water.  Even though I manage the day to day routine pretty well in general, it doesn’t take much for my anxiety and fatigue to surface turning into feelings of being overwhelmed.  It can be a quick downward spiral that’s hard for me to crawl out of.  So, there I was sitting in this little room today, trying to soak in all the beautiful things that were being shared, feeling overwhelmed and sad when Joni Eareckson Tada (who sent in a video tribute to Kenon) referred to “the buoyant hope of heaven”.  It was a quick reference in her thoughts on suffering but, boy, did my heavy heart perk up at the thought of the hope of heaven being a buoy on which to hold tight and rest…even if just for a minute…so I did!  During the two hour service I cried, embraced my fears, held tight to my hope in heaven and recommitted to the tasks at hand that have worn me down lately.  It was cathartic and precious…Kenon would be pleased.  🙂

 

I’m praying now that Olivia recuperates quickly…we have two special weddings coming up this next week and I’m praying the virus Livy has been battling ends with her and doesn’t spread to the rest of us…we have much to celebrate with dear friends in the days to come and I sure wouldn’t want any of us to miss out.

 

Grateful for the blessings of today…

12 thoughts on “The Buoyant Hope of Heaven

  1. So nice to see you and Rudy today. I would have been glad to sit back there with you. A beautiful memorial to a remarkable woman. Will be praying for you my friend!

  2. Though a true stranger to YOU, I have followed Rudy’s story since very early on – I know you but you don’t no me. My son died 4 years ago, in August, the month of his birth and death. Your “heavy heart” sound like I call “free-floating anxiety” – those fears for the future, anticipation of whatever’s ahead are real. It’ overwhelming. BOUYANCY is integral to forward motion in an unstable world. My family’s needs increased when big brother left us. My own buoyancy didn’t. I don’t know an encouraging word better than buoyance: hope, faith and confidence in the promise of heaven is all that keeps any of us afloat and able to escape paralysis of fear. This world is full of threats to our bodies, and to our spirits. Our souls remain buoyant. With the very present set of transitions – funerals,weddings, illness, handicaps, driving, the start of school – simply the scary stuff of life, all I can do is hang on to that “floatie’ of hope. If nothing more, sister, you aren’t alone.

    1. YES, annbz, thank you! You describe it well and I’m overwhelmed by your interest in and concern for our family all these years…thank you for following our journey and for sharing a bit of yours! God bless you this month as I’m sure it isn’t an easy time…may you be comforted on many levels…in unexpected ways. What a gift to know we’re not alone! Thank you friend….peace to you!!

  3. My precious friend. How many times I have tried to place myself in your boots, and imagine what I would be like if the boot were mine and not yours. I have praised God, at those times, for the inspiration and role model you display to the world with saintly status to those of us who watch your actions, read your heartfelt messages and try to aspire to be half the person you are as parents and Christians. Rudy has given your family, and many around the globe, a reason to reach out to our God, grasp His promises, and hold tightly to His Word for comfort and peace. You will always remain a family to be admired and respected for the trust you have placed in the Lord. It resonates everyday.

    There is no doubt, that you must feel incredibly overwhelmed, and experience very low moments, but just know that we are all holding your family up in prayer and we know that His hands hold you all.

  4. Wish I could give you a big hug…..I will continue to pray that the God of all hope will fill you with His joy and His peace….isn’t it wonderful how he comforts us even in a very sad place! Love you!!! My new bracelet is on…you are in my prayers!

  5. Dear Trish – May your spirits be buoyed, your health infused with strength, and your worries abated. You give so much to so many, and blessed are they/we. Celebrate the bittersweet end of your friend’s life and also the new beginnings of the weddings you will attend. The journey is rich and challenging, in all of what life brings. rudy is one of the miracles I give thanks for each day. Love, Kris

  6. Oh, sweet girl. I am so sorry for the heaviness of heart, for the loss of your friend, for your girl’s high fever, all of it. Praying for relief, healing, and a little bit more fun in days ahead.

  7. Thank you, thank you, thank you ALL dear friends! If I could, I’d “like” all your comments! 🙂 Your prayers are deeply appreciated and I’m uplifted by them. Love you so…

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