- Greg’s latest…Thank you Greg!
A neat thing happened to me this week…I heard a song that really touched my heart (brought me to tears while I was driving) and I was disappointed I didn’t catch the song’s name or the artist who recorded it because I wanted to find it online and then yesterday I got an email from my good friend Grace that simply said “I can hear you singing this song” with the link to “Blessings” by Laura Story…THE song…the one I heard and couldn’t find! How fun…I love it when things like that happen and the timing of Grace’s email couldn’t have been more perfect as the song expresses so beautifully things that have been on my heart this Holy Week…a deeper, more experiential understanding of the beauty of Christ, hope in heaven and how it all intertwines with human suffering, heartbreak, struggle.
With each passing day, I’m amazed at how much energy Rolf and I spend thinking…it feels, sometimes, like our minds never stop spinning as we think through all of the practical, emotional and, yes, even the hypothetical details in caring for Rudy’s special needs, in caring for our family as a whole and in caring for the needs of Rolf’s work at the Rescue Mission. Rolf seemed deeply pensive recently and when I asked him what he was preoccupied with, his response was “I’m trying not to think”. Indeed!!!! If only we could shut down like we do our computers…just for a bit. We started seeing a pastor in town about a year ago to help us process all these things we spend our time thinking about and feeling whose wise and thoughtful counsel has been a true blessing. I was sharing with him one day about the potential of losing Rudy and how I had come to terms with that reality for Rudy’s sake but was struggling with my role in the equation…how I could see (and believe with all my heart) the wins for Rudy but, okay I’m going to be brutally honest here, couldn’t see the wins in it for me. I went on to explain how, to me, life for Rudy this side of death means a life with a family that absolutely adores him and has the capability and resources to care for him and life after death means eternity in heaven…whole, face-to-face with God, free of the things that restrict him now…win/win. But in my darkest moments, I confessed, I struggle with the knowledge that my role puts me front and center in watching his decline (should that be the pathway we walk) and then tremendous, unimaginable, life-sucking loss…no wins. After my drawn-out, twisted ramblings, he said “there are wins, you know, what are they?”. I shrugged my shoulders and out of a sense of obligation I listed things like “the joy of having him in my life – even for a short time”, “the many amazing lessons I’m learning in the process”, “greater dependence on God which is drawing me into deeper faith”, “the compassion and sensitivity toward people in need being cultivated in the big kids”, etc…all of which are true but hold little consolation, really, when life feels its darkest. But Denny wasn’t satisfied, I hadn’t hit it yet and he encouraged me to go deeper. Confused, I said “Denny, I don’t understand. What do you mean?” and very simply he said “Your wins are the same as Rudy’s!”. And in an instant the tears of pain and heartache that were streaming down my face led to tears of reassurance of and longing for…heaven! I had an eternal perspective on Rudy’s life and a very temporal perspective on my own!!! Because of Christ’s amazing sacrifice on the cross and triumph in His resurrection, heaven is MY win too. It’s a truth I’ve known for a very long time and it sounds so simple but there’s no way I can describe in words the profound depth this simple truth rooted in my heart that day – it was transforming. Sure, I still struggle with fear and how we’re going to get from point A to point Z but when I find myself slipping into mind-spinning thoughts, the thought of heaven and all that awaits me there pulls me up and onward…one step at a time.
Which brings me back to the song “Blessings”…here’s a link: Click here! Take a minute to listen and pay particular attention to these lyrics tucked in the bridge and final chorus…”When darkness seems to win,we know the pain reminds this heart that this is not our home…What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy.” Yes, YES, this is it…this is at the heart of all the challenges we face, isn’t it? I pray a special blessing on you this Good Friday…may you know this hope we have in Christ and may you be reassured that your deepest thirsts will one day be satisfied. A blessed and happy Easter from our family to you!
Rudy's Beat 
Wow….it is a win win…..Very moving piece, Trish….
Wow…had never heard of her or that song and you are the third person to share it with me today!!! Thank you for that – and for the blessing that you and your entire family are to me.
Much love and happy Easter.
Jim
Hey Trish
Heard that song this week on Wednesday on way to work, and just stopped me in my tracks.
It is a great reminder that indeed, this place is temporary, with our hopes realized in the presence of the Divine, beyond this life, at Home.
Thanks for sharing such a moving moment to remember and know we “win” when we come Home! Love and hugs Kendy
That was a wonderful Good Friday reflection, Trish. Thank you for saying it so eloquently for me. I have been mulling some of the same concepts and you said what I have not been able to put into words!
That was beautiful Trish!! Big Hugs! Tom & Jeannine
Thank you my dear friend for reminding me about heaven today and causing a deeper rejoicing in the cross because of your words!
Trish, oh Trish. Such good words. Thank you.
The song is so beautiful; I had not heard it before. Good Friday is so GOOD! We have the promise of eternal salvation! God bless you and your family during this special season and every day, love, Jane and Joe
Trish, thank you for reminding me of all that awaits us. You are loved.
Heard that song the other day and was actually thinking of you as I listened…. you are so eloquent, and so open with us. Thank you for all that it teaches me. More little “circumstances” in our life this week, but nothing compared to your journey – yet the same words encourage me deeply.
Thanks for your deep thoughts and openness of your feelings, sweet Trish. What an inspiration you are to us all. Blessings Oma
it’s so odd….halfway thru reading this the letters get all blurry and run together….
thank you for your willingness to share the whole range of your thoughts and joys and struggles. your openness opens new vistas for us, too.
Easter! blessings…to all of you Linda
If you haven’t discovered it yet, check out the book,”Heaven Is For Real.”
Aunt Trish, I am speechless at your unrelenting faith. I have a win in being able to know you and hear about your amazing journey and faith. I have passed by a church bulletin board many times this week that was very encouraging for me and I thought you might enjoy it’s message too,
‘When he was on the cross, you were on his mind.’
Happy Easter!
K
Oh my precious Trish. This is so beautiful and so heartbreaking to read. How much so many of us wish we could walk this road for you but have to sit on the sidelines urging you on and celebrating the wins along with you! You have no idea how blessed I am to know you. My life has been changed by you~ by your courage, your hope and your amazing resilient faith. Love you so~
Sloan
P.S. I just read an amazing book you HAVE to read. It’s called Heaven Is For Real. It will bless you so much! xoxo
My sweet daughter….Rudy’s journey weighs heavily on you , Rolf and your family and all of us who love you and Rudy so much. You are doing all you can do and God is in control as you struggle with this journey. The insight you describe here is His message of love and caring to you and yours. Rest in Him.
I found that song on Grace’s face book post and thought it was so beautiful and I hope Cameron may sing that at church some day. It made me think of Rudy and Kourtney and their challenges. What a lovely way to see life. I’d love to hear you sing it as well. Post it when you do. Praying for Rudy as always and your whole sweet familt this Easter weekend. ((hugs))
A divine reminder…our treasure in heaven awaits. Thank you for sharing from the depths of your hearts how He is with as as we journey toward our true home. Blessings and love,
((Trish)) Thank you for sharing this song.
You continue to amaze me and I am in awe of how you handle everything! I love you and it was great to see and spend time with you yesterday!
listened with goose bumps, it touched me; I will share it with others, thank you, Nick’s Grandma
So touching. Your faithfulness and stength amazes me. If you love “Blessings” by Laura Story, consider tuning into 93.3 and listening to a Christian radio station called Klove or streaming it online at klove.com . God bless your family each moment and continue to reveal his love for each of you!
What a blessing….to remember!