My mind is rarely in the same room as my body

Yesterday morning, Livy announced at the breakfast table how glad she was that BOTH of her parents would be home that evening.  There’s something surreal about this season, where one can feel distress and comfort at the same time.  Today and yesterday, the comfort has been being home together with Trish–it’s been a whirlwind of activity, but good to be in it together.

In the midst of this, I’ve come to identify that my mind and emotions are often not in the place my body is.  We’ve had some great events here and even doing things as a team for a short time makes life more peaceful, yet my mind was at UCLA a lot today and I’m so glad for nurses and doctors who gladly field our calls and give us updates on Rudy. 

We had a precious time last night celebrating Christmas with our amazing team at the Rescue Mission, where I shared with new-found awareness how powerful it is for people to make a vocation out of coming alongside people in helpless situations.  This walk with Rudy has put us in that position of helplessness, where most of the capability we operate under has been peeled away and we are buoyed by people with expertise and compassion who come everyday and pay closer attention to our son than we would ever  know how.  That’s what our team at the Rescue Mission does every day, and on top of that, they are just a precious group of people we are fortunate to count as friends.

Tonight, we went as a family to the La Patera Elementary Festival of Lights.  I am certain every parent walked out of there feeling bummed they weren’t us when they heard how angelic Wilson sang Christmas carols.  Again, just great to see everyone and to be at school function together.  As this struggle with Rudy stretches on, our concern for our three other children grows so it’s just comforting to be reminded of the school community and it’s concern for our family.  Thanks everyone.

The one thing we didn’t attend as a family was the Christmas Tea Trish went to with our Bethel House residents put on by the Rescue Mission Auxiliary.  While I was not dismayed at being excluded from a “hen party”, I was moved by the quilt Trish brought home from there.  If you’ve been following Rudy’s Beat for some time, you’ve kind of seen it as it’s got most of the pictures from the site on it stitched with carefully chosen Bible verses.  Trish says there wasn’t a dry eye the first time she opened it and I know there wasn’t the second time when we opened it at home.  Thank you, Lin, Andrea and ladies all for something so instantly precious to us.

As far as Rudy, we are so encouraged by everyone who is joining us in prayer and fasting these two days.  He woke up with a fever which agitated him in the morning, but by afternoon he calmed down.  The team has been able to gradually up his nutrition to 3ccs an hour (still an infintesimally small amount), but he is tolerating it well so far.  There has been no measurable improvement in his chest tube drainage or in his ventilation.

The lymphangiogram procedure ended up not happening today, so they will attempt it tomorrow morning.  We’re not exactly sure where this leaves things as far as the surgery scheduled in the afternoon, but we would assume it rare that they would try to do both things in one day without giving Rudy a chance to rest and the doctors a good chance to assess what might be going on.

Thanks for standing with us.  We’ll report from Rudy’s bedside tomorrow.

9 thoughts on “My mind is rarely in the same room as my body

  1. How sweet that Livy was so warmed with both parents home….and that quilt sounds so precious…..You are surrounded by so much love!

    Kisses to Rudy and hugs to the rest!
    Marlin and Grace

  2. Tori announced last night that she wanted to pick a special blessing for Rudy from the book. Tori asks almost everyday to see pictures of Rudy and Katie, especially when one of us in on the computer. They are definitely on her mind. Ariana talks about Rudy in her own way and wants to share a bowl of mush with him when he is ready. We are all praying and thinking of you in KY!!!

  3. That quilt is so beautiful and precious. I kept my sunglasses on so my blathering like a baby wouldn’t be on display. Seriously, what an awesome gift. You two have been such a great gift, as well. Love you all, Kelly

  4. Our prayers have been directed to the Great Physician and we ask for healing Rudy of whatever is unflound in his little body that is keeping him from going home to his family in Goleta. Bless his medical team with new insight and care that will enable this to happen. What a special day that will be and we are hoping that will happen while we are there with you. We will finally see you soon with lots of hugs and kisses.

  5. Because we are in Utah, I could not join in the tea yesterday and missed the quilt. I also missed once again greeting you, Trish. You are all in my prayers daily as I read your blogs. I am comforted in knowing that our faithful Lord is bringing some good out of this difficult situation as only He can.
    When we were in the midst of adopting our son, the scripture from Isaiah 40:11 brought me such comfort. “He shall lead His flock like a shepard and gather the lambs in His arms and gently lead those who are with young.” Our battle didn’t end with adoption for we have struggled through drug abuse with our dear son. We cling to the hope that God has never left us and that He alone can and will bring good out of what seems hopeless. I know He will do the same for you. You remain in my prayers. God’s purposes are beyond our understanding but we can rest in the certain knowledge that He loves us. May His comfort and peace cover you as a family and bring healing to your baby.

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