It’s time for another disclaimer. The weakness in my arms and hands is making it harder to write and type and so I’m falling behind in my correspondence. Rather than fret over it, let me say I read everything whether it be a card or comment or email or text or IM and I appreciate EVERY communication that comes my way. So please, keep ’em coming and know that if my responses are delayed or curt or whittled down to an expressive emoji, it isn’t due to a lack of interest or gratitude…simply a matter of mechanics. 😉
It’s getting hard friends. The growing number of limitations and the practical implications can be crazy-making. After a super fun day with my dear friend from high school Annie & her daughter Sara visiting from Indianapolis and a fun win for the DP lady laxers, I had an unsettling choking incident at dinner on Tuesday night which wore me out and led to difficult transfers once we got home and a fitful night’s rest. I admit the sequence of events left me feeling defeated & desperate. Then, Rolf & I went to my neurology check-in the following day and we crossed paths with another patient farther along in the journey. I looked at Rolf and cried tears of gratitude for where I am and panic about where I’m headed all at the same time. Up, down, up, down…the roller coaster is real and it’s a constant challenge to live in the moment and not lose sight of all the goodness in my life…so much that is good!!! Lessons in perspective regarding the physical, emotional and spiritual experience in this journey are reiterated over and over…with increasing depth and meaning as time goes on.
Shortly after my diagnosis a year and a half ago, I mentioned how I felt God was telling me that my ALS journey was going to be just as much (if not more) a spiritual one as a physical one. How very true that is turning out to be. Ironically, it is taking me being stripped of everything…systematically…little by little to show me how integrated AND how uniquely separate my spiritual journey is to/from my physical existence. ‘Sounds kind of mystical and I’m sorry about that because I don’t want to lose you. I think what I’m trying to say is my faith experience isn’t about “being spiritual” but rather recognizing that I am spiritual, aligning myself with what God is doing all around me and choosing to spend as much time on my spiritual needs as I do on my physical needs…making the day to day not only purposeful but full of life…especially now. As a Christian, I believe that God put this all in motion, Christ reconciled me to God in relationship and the Holy Spirit exists to empower and guide. I have such a greater appreciation for the triune as time goes on…a multi-layered expression of love in a multi-layered life experience…especially now.
Rudy's Beat 
Thank you Trish, for taking so many people along your journey with you. You will probably never really know and I understand just tell meaning for your words are to so many of us. We love you and continue to support and care for you and probably more importantly, to pray for you. You are an inspiring person And I think you for that
Love love the photos esp the one of you and Rolf!!!! Thank you for posting- knowing it took mammoth effort makes your words even more significant. Thank you for all the beauty ….. in the midst of hard hard things❤️❤️❤️❤️
Wow Trish. You continue to spread joy in whatever you are doing. You always continue to glorify Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as well in your writings as well as your everyday life. I’m sending you so much love. Blessings to you and your precious family on this day. I love you. 🥰💖
Thank you Trish for the perspective you hold on to, in the midst of the change and physical losses. Thank you for the beautiful pictures too! You are a tangible reminder of God’s love and peace, you bless me and my family and I love you so much!
Thank you , sweet daughter, Your spiritual strength is blessing us ALL!
Yes, the flowers were amazing.
You share such courage, while riding this roller coaster. Thank you for showing us all how to grab focus on the battle that God wants to win in us, more than the battle we want Him to win for us….
You continue to be a star to draw too. And I continue to pray daily for you and your family.
Thank you for your honest thoughts😌
Dear Darling Trish,
I am always so blessed by your amazing spirit and faith. My heart aches to hear that some things are getting a little harder and harder for you. Please know you are a true hero in my book. Praying for you and Rolf and the kids daily dear friend. Love you~
Sloan
Dearest Trish,
Thank you so much for this update and for letting us in on how you are processing this journey. As always, your thoughts are beautifully expressed and they help us to pray for you.
Love you so much, dear sister in Christ. 😘 XO
More love and tears than words can capture, dear one. I sense some good discussion rising soon…
My Dear Friend……another humble and vulnerable peak into your grueling and disheartening journey. Shared with such perfect words that send us all into that experience with you. Would it only be possible to take away some of the pain, disappointment and fear that you have each day…… and we step up to give you respite and relief. My heart breaks every day and I can only pray and pray for our Lord to erase the disease, make a miracle and let me see my sweet friend in good health once again. You are loved so, so much and our prayers continue……
God works in ways that are mysterious to us. You are grasping some of this mystery as you seek to follow our Lord humbly and thankfully. May our Lord let you see more and more of Him day by day!! May His love sustain you and hold you up. I pray daily for you and your precious family!
I understand, all to well, the battle between staying present knowing the future will eventually be worse. There is no gentler way to say it, but even with that being said the present is still a “present” and beauty and deep love DO surround you (just take another look at the pictures you posted) so why not seek, see, and find all the joy you can – every day. Trish, you are brave, strong and beautiful 😍
Rudy certainly prepared you well for this journey. He did it so perfectly and captured so many hearts along the way and you are too. I pray for a peaceful nights rest for you…choking is the absolute worst and the post traumatic after affects linger a little too long. :(.
Big hug for you!
Thanks for this vivid, honest, painful, beautiful entry. That feels like your life right now. I am one from afar struggling with the whys of this how you. There are no answers to that question I have learned! But walking through with you I can see Jesus more clearly – even the hard parts of the Trinity that allow pain and suffering and the death we will all experience. And it somehow makes me love him more. Please keep being real – that is a gift to me and many others. xoxo
I will be forever grateful that Trish Geyling is spiritual. You are teaching all of us the beauty and depth of being just that, spiritual. Thank you for sharing again on this very difficult journey. Thank you Rolf for being so present in this journey with Trish.
Romans 15:13 Your song! Beautiful pictures! Beautiful people! Beautiful, honest, Words!
My Dear Friend – your words and insights are profound. In many years of pastoral ministry I have never seen the presence of God more powerfully than when I have seen the spirits of believers sore as their bodies grow weak. Nothing proves more that our real identity is not our failing, broken bodies than when those, who are connected to Christ, can simultaneously experience physical suffering and distress, while at the same time experience spiritual peace and strength that is so visible to others. It hurts so bad to watch your physical failings but I have to be comforted that is is only your temporary and temporal reality – that your eternal, spiritual reality is one that is forever free from “our bodies of sin a death.” It is true – the essence of your reality is spiritual and not physical. Rarely have I known a person who the light of Christ shines through during suffering and distress than you, my friend. I know it does make it any easier for you day -to- day, but you are a living embodiment of “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Thank you for your courage,vulnerability and honesty.
No need for a response. I understand from your very excellent and honest sharing that you enjoy reading responses to your blog, so here it is. You have blessed me so very much with your attitude of loving God and depending on Him, even through unbelievably hard times. I continue to pray for your healing, God’s provision, your spirit and your family. You are one amazing woman, Trish, and loved by me and many, many others! Joan
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We love you Trish. You are continuing to walk on holy ground, and we are all blessed to be in your midst.
We would love to plan a day to come to Santa Barbara to see you, but not wanting to tire you out! Sending our love and prayers, my friend.
Victoria