I’ve never been much of a dreamer…at night at least. If I do dream while I sleep, I rarely wake up with memory of it. As a result, the vivid dreams I’ve had the past couple of weeks are surprising to me. I’ve dreamt about Rudy and just the other night I dreamt of me singing…standing up and playing the guitar. I seem to be dreaming about the things I’ve lost so although the dreams themselves are pleasant, a heavy heart settles in when I wake up and realize it was only a dream. It leads me to question, why is my subconscious choosing to create nighttime movie reels NOW – after all these years?!!! It’s like my mind is on hyper-drive and doesn’t take a break even when I sleep.
I wonder if my mind is missing my creative outlets as much as my heart. 😉 This time of year is typically filled with a ton of creative expression for me through music and jewelry making. I miss time spent in my little shop making my jewelry designs in preparation for my holiday trunk shows and open house. And although I’m still helping to lead worship at my church, what I’m able to offer vocally is becoming severely limited and my arms are feeling the fatigue of playing guitar so the joy of music making is beginning to wane a bit. That’s a tough realization this time of year too as my heart longs to sing “Mary Did You Know” with my friend Darlene as was tradition for many years or break out my guitar for impromptu carol sings.
The good news is creativity doesn’t die. As the doors to certain creative expressions close, it seems I’m led to alternatives. A friend of mine introduced me to the practice of praying with prayer beads last year when I shared that I was having a hard time focusing long enough to pray. I was intrigued by it and did a little research on the history of Anglican/Protestant prayer beads (a cross between the Orthodox Prayer Rope and the Catholic Rosary) that led me through a fun journey of discovery. I read a number of different suggested prayer guides and tried a few on for size and ultimately came up with an adapted compilation of my own. It has been a sweet creative exercise AND benefit to my prayer life. Win/Win!
Here’s a link to a .pdf of my prayer bead compilation if you’re interested! You don’t need prayer beads to pray it with me!…
There is real value in adopting new practices when the old become stale or, in my case, die off. It’s a helpful reminder to me that life is still being lived and my heart is still being inspired to express itself no matter how “stuck” I feel. God is, truly, ever present!
‘So, so grateful Darlene and I recorded our rendition of “Mary Did You Know” several years ago with the help of our friends Jake and Jeremy (I don’t even care anymore that I’m a little pitchy). I’m sharing it again here in honor of our tradition. 🙂