Olivia temporarily set aside her XC running shoes this past weekend and pulled out the lacrosse equipment for an off season tournament here in SB. We enjoyed extended time out on Santa Barbara’s beautiful polo fields and the event was made even sweeter by a spontaneous visit from big bro Wilson and family friend Johanna.
We’ve had a lot going on this month…big milestones, big events, fun day trips, lots of visitors and special outings. It’s been a wonderful month with family and friends as well as a difficult month with many tears and an increasing battle with depression. Part of me wants to fill every minute of every day to completely distract myself from the heaviness of it all but I’m also finding that if I don’t carve out the space and take the time to gather my thoughts, I get anxious which only adds to the feelings of depression. Balance on many levels remains key to coping with and managing this journey.
I so appreciate the opportunity that today’s technology offers me to process life in a blog that can be shared so effortlessly with family and friends. What started out over a decade ago as an effort to keep folks informed about detailed medical information regarding Rudy ended up turning into a precious family journal over the years and morphed again this last year into a personal record of life and loss. I may not be in a season where I feel the freedom to invite people to much as it has such an emphasis on the future, but I do feel the freedom to invite people in and that is profoundly important to me right now as it allows for a connection with others and is often a catalyst for meaningful conversations at a time when I feel increasingly isolated. I guess you could say the blog is an “evite” for others to share in a life experience that is painful and threatening but also rich and rewarding. 😉 Your willingness to continually “accept” my invitation blesses me deeply and I thank you!
On the medical front, the increased weakness in my right foot warranted me getting a brace to match the one I’ve been wearing on my left leg. I questioned why it was even necessary to get the additional brace if my mobility becomes increasingly limited and I can’t walk anyway, but both the Dr. and Nobbe confirmed the braces will be necessary for transferring from one surface to another in the future so now I look like Rudy. 🙂 What a strange, surreal, somewhat familiar path this is…
I can’t believe October is winding down…next week is Halloween and another SBRM graduation!! Wow! Time is flying staggeringly fast and I’m finding that a little unsettling but Autumn is a favorite season of mine so I guess I should embrace it. Fall Blessings to you and yours.