Olivia temporarily set aside her XC running shoes this past weekend and pulled out the lacrosse equipment for an off season tournament here in SB. We enjoyed extended time out on Santa Barbara’s beautiful polo fields and the event was made even sweeter by a spontaneous visit from big bro Wilson and family friend Johanna.
We’ve had a lot going on this month…big milestones, big events, fun day trips, lots of visitors and special outings. It’s been a wonderful month with family and friends as well as a difficult month with many tears and an increasing battle with depression. Part of me wants to fill every minute of every day to completely distract myself from the heaviness of it all but I’m also finding that if I don’t carve out the space and take the time to gather my thoughts, I get anxious which only adds to the feelings of depression. Balance on many levels remains key to coping with and managing this journey.
I so appreciate the opportunity that today’s technology offers me to process life in a blog that can be shared so effortlessly with family and friends. What started out over a decade ago as an effort to keep folks informed about detailed medical information regarding Rudy ended up turning into a precious family journal over the years and morphed again this last year into a personal record of life and loss. I may not be in a season where I feel the freedom to invite people to much as it has such an emphasis on the future, but I do feel the freedom to invite people in and that is profoundly important to me right now as it allows for a connection with others and is often a catalyst for meaningful conversations at a time when I feel increasingly isolated. I guess you could say the blog is an “evite” for others to share in a life experience that is painful and threatening but also rich and rewarding. 😉 Your willingness to continually “accept” my invitation blesses me deeply and I thank you!
On the medical front, the increased weakness in my right foot warranted me getting a brace to match the one I’ve been wearing on my left leg. I questioned why it was even necessary to get the additional brace if my mobility becomes increasingly limited and I can’t walk anyway, but both the Dr. and Nobbe confirmed the braces will be necessary for transferring from one surface to another in the future so now I look like Rudy. 🙂 What a strange, surreal, somewhat familiar path this is…
I can’t believe October is winding down…next week is Halloween and another SBRM graduation!! Wow! Time is flying staggeringly fast and I’m finding that a little unsettling but Autumn is a favorite season of mine so I guess I should embrace it. Fall Blessings to you and yours.
Rudy's Beat 
Once again you powerfully articulated words that are true my heart but unformed in my mind.
I too don’t
“feel the freedom to invite people to much as it has such an emphasis on the future, but I do feel the freedom to invite people in and that is profoundly important to me … at a time when I feel increasingly isolated. “
Trish you are remarkable is so many ways.
Love
Joyce and John
Precious Trish. How I wish I could be inside your head and curled up in your heart to break the bond of isolation you feel. Just to be there to nudge you with a comforting hug, casual smile….silly chuckle. Anything….to make you feel the love around you by so many. I pray every day for you and have to fight off my anger at God for not taking this horrible disease from you. “Not fair, Lord! Why? A family so worthy, so afflicted with grief?”….I know we all cry out for you and your beautiful family. Know everyday, Trish, you are loved and in the hearts and minds of many.
Trish, those braces could use some bling, girl.
Precious Trish! THANK YOU so much for “eviting” me into your daily life. I am so thankful that i get to share in your life. Even though i have only personally met your precious children once in their lives (at the UWP Reunion) i feel as if i know them well. They even accepted me on Instagram! Yay!
We will continue as a staff at my church to pray for you each Tuesday Morning and my prayer warriors come every Monday and Thursday and i keep them updated on what you are experiencing. You are constantly on my heart and in my prayers. Today my prayer for you is, “Lord my precious friend, Trish, your precious servant daughter, is experiencing anxiety, isolation & depression. Lord, You know all this already, but You tell us to bring our concerns directly to You so that is what I am doing. I am asking that when these feelings sweep across Trish that you will confidently whisper in her ears as You cradle her in Your loving arms Your promises…
Ephesians 3:16-19
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Exodus 14:14
14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Deuteronomy 31:8
8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Joshua 1:9
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Psalm 9:9-10
9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 10 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 16:8
8 I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 18:3
3 I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.
Psalm 37:4
4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 34:17
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
Psalm 46:1-3
1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Psalm 50:15
15 and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”
Psalm 55:22
22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Psalm 86:5
5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.
Psalm 103:2-5
2 Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 107:13-16
13 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. 14 He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains. 15 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, 16 for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.
Psalm 118:14-16
14 The LORD is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation. 15 Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: “The LORD’s right hand has done mighty things! 16 The LORD’s right hand is lifted high; the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!”
Psalm 119:25
25 I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word.
Psalm 119:50
50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.
Psalm 119:71
71 It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.
Psalm 119:114-115
114 You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. 115 Away from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commands of my God!
Psalm 120:1
1 I call on the LORD in my distress, and he answers me.
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 18:10
10 The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
Isaiah 26:3
3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 40:28-31
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 41:10
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13
13 For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 43:2
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 54:10
10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:17
17 no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.
Isaiah 58:6
6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
Isaiah 61:1
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Matthew 6:31-33
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 7:9-11
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Mark 11:24
24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Luke 11:9-13
9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 8:36
36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
John 14:13-16
13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. 15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—
John 14:27
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 16:33
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
2 Timothy 1:7
7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
1 Peter 5:7
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Revelation 3:5
5 The one who is victorious will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out the name of that person from the book of life, but will acknowledge that name before my Father and his angels.
Lord, Your word washes over us afresh and a new each and every day. Thank You for Your promises which are Yes & Amen! Lord, we put all our hope and trust in You! We praise You Lord Jesus for the mighty work You are doing in Trish. Strengthen her, her wonderful husband, Rolf, her adorable sons, Wilson and Max & her beautiful daughter, Olivia. I pray Lord that each one stays firmly rooted in You and that their faith will not waiver as they continue on the journey. Lord please continue to reveal Your Glory to Trish with eyes that can see clearly what You are showing her. Fill her with the hope of Your Glory! Lord, I love my sweet friend Trish! She was been a wonderful example of a true Lover of Jesus! She hasn’t wavered! Her godly-living example has spurred me on to be the kind of person that You desire for me to be. We thank You in advance for all that You will reveal to Trish today and moving forward. We love You Lord and ask all of this in Your Son Jesus’ Powerful Name! AMEN!!!”
I am sending you enormous loads of Love.💓Again, thank you, Trish, for sharing your life with me. Melani
Thank you, precious Trish, for always eviting us in to your sorrows and joys. Congratulations to your Uber athletic daughter!
I bet Rudy is looking down at those braces and chuckling about how you will be twins on this side and in the next, when you can handspring in streets of gold together.
Love you so much!
I hear you. I love you. I am so sorry. And I am also deeply grateful for your honesty and your invitation.