There is laughter in the house this weekend…throw your head back, belly laughter. It has been a long three months since the boys left for school and it is good to have them home. It is good to have the house filled with sound and activity.
The long holiday weekend will fly by and we wasted no time jumping into the holiday traditions we hold so dear and establishing some new ones. We were blessed to help host the Rescue Mission Thanksgiving Feast on Wednesday…the kids entertained the guests, I helped greet and Rolf worked the room connecting with guests, staff, volunteers and the media. Rudy’s favorite camerawoman from our local ABC affiliate was there. We had a quick exchange in the parking lot when we arrived and I couldn’t help but think how happy Rudy would have been to be in the center of it all. There were a handful of homeless guests who arrived and asked how Rudy was doing. It was difficult to share the news of his passing but it was very special to witness the impact he had on so many. The celebrations at the rescue mission just won’t be the same without him…come to think of it, he took after Rolf in his ability to work the room and connect with everyone spreading smiles and joy…while being a bit mischievous too.
After the feast, we ran home, picked up Harley and headed to the cemetery for a small gathering to honor and remember our boy. We wrote down and shared favorite memories, brought toys to donate to Toys for Tots and stayed until the cemetery closed for the night. 😉 We finished the day with a pizza (Rudy’s favorite) and pasta dinner in his honor.
There’s lots for which to be thankful.
And that brings us to today…Thanksgiving. We will enjoy celebrating with friends later but our day is going to be pretty simple. It is difficult to describe where my heart is today. I did a lot of observing yesterday…I watched my family exercise their gifts and talents, joyfully interact with friends and volunteers at the rescue mission and embrace good friends at the cemetery and I ended the day knowing (and being grateful) that the awesomeness of my family and their love for God gives me great hope and confidence for my family’s future…but it’s also the core of my heartbreak as I engage in disease management, face the long, scary road ahead and lament all the awesomeness I’m potentially losing. I’m optimistic but I’m also realistic and when my week is filled with meetings with my hospice case worker, my new ALSA case manager, initial taping for a legacy video, lots of calls on Rolf’s part to coordinate local medical care, etc, etc, etc, it’s hard not to face our reality. Rolf and I are beginning to tap into local resources for which I am so very grateful but at the same time cause me heartbreak. I am amazed at the human spirit’s capacity to feel…and not just it’s capacity to feel individual emotions but it’s capacity to feel it all at the same time. Every burst of laughter includes a a wave of tears. They are inseparable for me right now. It’s complicated…every day is complicated. The goal today is to keep it simple, enjoy the simplicity of being together and give thanks for the many rays of light forcing their way through the dark shadows. We are blessed and there is much for which to be thankful…it’s just taking a lot of mental energy to focus on that part of our reality today. Thank you for your continued prayers and messages of encouragement today! We aren’t able to respond to them all but we read and are blessed by every one. Thank you!!!
May your Thanksgiving be filled with fun celebration and joyful reflection on all that is good. Happy Thanksgiving!