My Love Affair with a Foot

Surgery Day 10-6-08
Surgery Day 10-6-08
Ready for transport
Ready for transport

Hi Everyone!  I’ve been itching to get to my computer all day to read everyone’s comments…being connected to you all through the blog feels amazing…we are so NOT alone and the blog really helps to reinforce that…so, again, thank you, thank you, thank you!  Today is not a day I want to repeat but I’m ending the day so very grateful for it’s outcome.  I’m adding a couple of photos from very early this morning just before they took him to surgery…I thought Rudy looked so handsome in his little blue beanie I just couldn’t resist! 

Rudy’s looking a bit different now…a little paler and drawn in the face…they have discreetly covered his open chest with a blanket but it didn’t prevent me from seeing part of it when we first saw him after surgery…a pretty tough sight for me but I was quickly reminded that although it’s no way to start a life, this is giving him a chance at life and a full one at that.

One thing that hasn’t changed is Rudy’s precious left foot.  When he was first born, I was able to hold him for a minute before the took him to the NICU but since then, we’ve only been able to touch certain parts of his body…mostly the top of his head because that’s the one thing that hasn’t have a tube or cord connected to it.  We’ve, at times, been able to rest our fingers on his little chest and this morning we were able to stroke his soft little back as the nurse turned him on his side for a bit for comfort. 

A day or two after getting all hooked up to his entourage of monitors, they were able to free up his left foot of connection to anything and for the first time, we were able to really wrap our hand around something and hold tight.  It felt so good and that whole day all I wanted to do was hold on to that foot and when I left for the night, I kissed the bottom of it and gave it a little eskimo kiss with my nose!!!  So, for the past few days I’ve had a growing love affair with Rudy’s foot.  It was the last thing I held on to when he left for surgery this morning and it was the first thing I looked for when he came back.  It’s still free of any cords and as his appearance changes before he starts looking like himself again (the doctor warned us tonight that he’ll most likely get quite puffy and to not be alarmed), you can bet that sweet little foot will be the constant I’ll be looking for to grab onto and give a reassuring squeeze!

Good night everybody, Sleep well…Good night Rudy, I’m so proud of you!!!